"The Bleeding hand "

by Licia H.
(Birmingham, Ala)

I was in a relationship five months before I was a victim of domestic violence. No one can ever say that they will understand about domestic violence, until they have been in the situation themselves. I was dating a guy who was on drugs. Pills, to be exact. He had no job, car, house, money, and has two kids who lived with them(Grandmother,her husband, his sister, and his two kids). I couldn't tell you how many times I took him back until I finally opened my eyes. He was staying with his grandmother, and she was no help at all
(she was encouraging him to hit me). I nearly lost everything I could lose. My job, home( I was staying with my mother at the time), my money, and my friendships. I was 19 when it happened. It was around the time of my bithday, so it really took a toll on me. We were playing, and he threw a cup of water on me, so I threw it back. And the next thing you knew, He slapped me into a corner. I balled up, and cried. He put me out of his Grandmother's house, even though it was his fault.( I was sneeking from home when my mother left for work at 10:40). I walked home in the rain, eye swelling fast, and my heart broken. He called as soon as I got home. Calling me names, screaming, and telling me that If I told the police, he would kill me. That next morining, I told my mom, and we called the police. The officer didn't do ANYTHING. He gave me a number to call, and told me to stay away from him. Me being stupid, I went back to him. The second time it happened, I was living with his family because my mom had put me out, because I refused to stop seeing him. I was still in high school, trying to receive my diploma, While he accused me of cheating with my classmates. He tried his best to break me, but it is something that a man just can't stop a woman from doing. But, I claimed him on my taxes, and we was anxious about the money, so he could buy more pills. I wasn't working, because he made me lose my job, contantly comming by without notice. We lived right around the corner, and my job was in walking distance. I was at home with his kids because they was supposed to go to the doctor the next day. He left with his sister, and I was getting ready for bed. He came in as usual, drunk,and high, and I got sick of it. Here I am, young, black, beautiful, smart, and ambitious, taking care of a pill-head with two kids. I was always watching them, while he went out and sold drugs, and did drugs. I knew about the addiction, but I was trying to stop him from doing it. But, he came in high,trying to have sex with me,but I pushed him away, and he climbed on top of me. Then, I pushed him off, and that's when he lost his balance and fell. Then he jumped back on top of me, and started hiting me in my face. When he finally let me go, I ran as fast as I could, to get away from him. He chased me, and he tripped me. He then grabbed me, and began hitting me over and over. I was screaming for help, but no one would come to help me. His grandfather finally came, and pulled him off of me. He then grabbed all of my things and threw them on the floor. His grandmother took him to his dad's house. I called my sister, and she came to pick me up. When his grandmother got back, she started yelling at me saying that, I hit him first, and that, I was really calling my other boyfriend to come pick me up from her house, Then I received my clothes, and my sister took me to her house. I was so devestated, until, I cried myself to sleep. That next morning, he was calling my house, asking to speak to me. I finally went back to him, and I had my tax money(Meanwhile, his grandmother tried to get my check from the tax place). He took all of my tax money, and he accused me of cheating on him. I moved back in with them, and then I moved back out when his grandmother put me out because she was trying to steal my money. I finally broke-up with him, and I started dating someone else. And then one day when I was walking from school, he tried to him me in broad-daylight, because I told him that it was over between us.But, I finally pushed him away from me, and he started to walk away. I came back into my house , and told my mother what happened. My neighbor next door, called the police, adn he was arrested. I saw him a couple of times, but we never had any relationship after that. I moved on from this situation, and now, I have a great boyfriend, new job, I gained my friendships, and my family relationships back, and I graduated from high school. I still have no kids, and I'm on my way to college to study phebotomy. If you know what I know about past pain, then you know about the first rule:"YOU NEVER LET A MAN HIT YOU; UNLESS YOU HIT HIM BACK WITH A BLEEDING HAND OF JUSTICE"

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