My story

by J

I loved him so much when we first got together,
After three months I knew we would be forever.
At first he was nice and everyone would say what a great guy,
And my heart would swell with pride because I knew he was mine.
The yelling started pretty early on,
but you see I was used to this familar song.
At first he would say you're just too sensitive,
And I would say you're probably right.
Little by little he chipped away at me until I was just a shell,
Making me doubt myself and the way I felt and pushing my feelings down a dark deep well.
He would say things like you never think of me or do I ask too much of you?
You're so selfish and you never do what I tell you to.
Of course I would respond no you never ask too much of me and I should think of you more.
I came to realize that it would never be enough,
So in the end I decided to give up.
I did not leave him because I didn't have the strength nor did I have the power,
Afte years of him in my head telling me what to think and how to feel,
I didn't know if I could make it on my own or how I would deal.
Eventually he left me and now I am suddenly free,
Free to do what I like and not have to ask his permission,
Free to have my feelings and not having to hide them.
Not in any hurry to meet someone new you see,
I need to meet myself again and figure out who I am and who I will be.

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